Oy, Ireland

So I live in Ireland, in Dublin to be specific.  I'm not Irish, I'm American, but my husband's Irish and he was the one with a job when we married.  "So, how do you like Ireland?" is a question I get a lot.  "Oh, its lovely." or, "Oh, it's grand." is the usual answer, sort of showing that I'm slightly acclimating to the culture.  My old answer used to be "Well, Ireland seems lovely, but Dublin is a hell-hole."  You see the Irish really don't tell you how they feel, exactly, especially if it's negative.  

It's been an interesting lesson to learn.  Generally Americans express their ideas and opinions freely, happily arguing their case for hours and leave on friendly terms, even if the person they have been arguing with has completely different ideas.  It can be fun.  Not so here.  If you even question (in a curious, non-aggressive manner) what someone says you are considered a threat.  Sure, there are great conversations at dinner or at a pub, but always about something else.  Politics, sure, let me tell you exactly how Fianna Fail has ruined this country.  Speak out on a national level and actually try to do something about it?  Ah, what good would that do now?

Of course actually try to plan something and discuss ideas for something that could actually happen and you're in for a spot of trouble.  Chances are there will be one person who already has a strong agenda, and he's spent time lobbying others in the group to his side: making phone calls, meeting for a pint, taking in a game; that sort of this.  And all before any discussion has taken place.  So, you in the first meeting and Mr. Agenda's plan is rolled out, possibly not even by him.  Hmm, you wonder, sounds good, but what about this point?  How about considering this?  But what you don't realize is that this isn't up for discussion.  In fact your move to begin a discussion is considered a threat.  From that moment on you are a threat and moves are made to either discredit you, and this can get nasty.  Fun, no?  

I held the idea that transparency, open discussion and working together – as peers, as engaged people – would create something great, an excellent outcome.  I held this as fact, that this was the best way to work together, but I've found out that there's a few out there that really don't agree.  

OK, so clearly this isn't about the Irish, this is about one group of people that I've had to work with that have made my life hell.  You can kick me in the ass for my prejudicial statements.  I need to get out more and meet people besides those in this little dysfunctional group.